We are Massachusetts divorce lawyers who are concerned about how family law directly affects most people, but is rarely understood. Although many folks are knowledgeable in some areas of law and politics, family law, especially divorce, is emotionally-charged and laden with misconceptions. FAMILY LAW ADVISOR demystifies divorce by providing timely information about divorce planning, litigation, and your life after divorce. We will offer: * Pre-divorce planning and strategy * Abuse prevention advice * Recent developments in the law * Visitation and child-related issues * Post-divorce problems and remedies * Mediation * Developments in Tax Law * Interviews with mediators, mental health professionals, and legislators * Book Reviews * Divorce Resources * The Lighter Side We hope you enjoy our new publication and look forward to your comments, questions, and suggestions. Sharyn T. Sooho Steven L. Fuchs Law Offices of Sharyn T. Sooho Two Newton Place, Suite 200 Newton, MA 02458-1634
The holidays are stressful for divorced parents and their children. Typically, lawyers recommend a "flip-flop" visitation schedule. Dad spends Thanksgiving with the children and Mom keeps them for Christmas. The following year, the parties trade. Some families opt for the "split" holiday in which the children spend a half day at each parent's home. The frenzy can be maddening; children eat two dinners or none. A few parents try a "permanent" holiday schedule. Mom and Dad agree that the children will spend every Thanksgiving with Mom. Dad spends every Christmas Eve and morning with the children. After the divorce, Dad remarries and wants the children to spend Thanksgiving with him and his new family. Mom also wants the children to wake up at her home on Christmas morning. These requests are predictable, but parents often fail to build in a mechanism for change. We value parents' ability to negotiate and settle their differences. When that is not possible, however, the court will entertain a request to change an existing court order or agreement if consistent with the children's best interest. Minimize future disputes as you plan your post-divorce visitation schedule: * Consult a child psychologist about the needs of children at different ages. * Anticipate change as your children grow or as your own circumstances vary, such as changes in health and income. * Opt for mediation. * If you must return to court, ask the judge to appoint a guardian ad litem (person acting in place of the children). The guardian, usually a mental health professional, will interview the children so the court hears the guardian's testimony instead of the children's. * Do not wait until the last minute to change holiday schedules. * Be flexible. * Above all, do not put children in the middle.
Divorce may not be a dirty little secret, but most of us cherish
our privacy. As soon as you file divorce papers, the details of
your divorce are a matter of public record. With the exception of
your financial statement and the name of an alleged co-respondent
in an adultery case, all your divorce papers are available for
inspection by anyone at any time.
Lawmakers recognize the importance of privacy and allow judges to
impound papers in certain cases. Only you, your spouse, your
lawyers, and court employees have access. This is an
extraordinary limitation on the public's right to know. Before a
judge allows impoundment, you must show:
* The privacy interests involved
* Extent of community interest
* Reasons for impoundment
* The court must consider the public's right to know, even if you
and your spouse agree to impound. On occasion, the judge may
allow a third party, such as the press, to argue in favor of
public access.
* Massachusetts divorces are not heard by juries. You cannot argue,
as O.J. Simpson did, that your jurors will be swayed by television
or newspaper articles. Judges often deny requests to impound, but
you can take steps to ensure some privacy:
* Do not include detailed financial information in any court
document, except the financial statements,
* Refrain from making any angry or scandalous statements you would
not want your children to read.
The husband and wife jointly hire a mediator, often a lawyer by training. The mediator will not act as the attorney for the parties, but as a neutral facilitator. During a series of meetings, the couple and the mediator work out a mutually satisfactory plan covering the children's living arrangements the financial needs of each member of the family, the home and other assets of the parties. Both are free to consult with a lawyer at any time. The process is designed to reduce the adversarial element often encountered in divorce proceedings. You may save time and money, too. Once an agreement is reached, the mediator writes a draft for the husband and wife to review with outside counsel before signing. With a completed and signed separation agreement, the couple is free to proceed with a divorce action in court. Write to the editors and we will be happy to provide a list of mediators.
Men are entitled to alimony. Few men ask, but as society accepts
stay-at-home fathers, more men will collect.
Most children under the age of 18 will live with a single parent
or a stepfamily by the year 2000.
Divorce courts may divide future pension benefits. Pension
administrators carry out qualified domestic relations orders
(QDRO's) that deal with private pensions established under
federal law. Different rules apply to state pensions, divisible
under state law.
... and Common Misunderstandings
Marriage entitles spouses to an equal division of assets -- but
not in Massachusetts. We divide assets according to an equitable,
not equal, distribution rule, which allows judges to make unequal
awards.
Mom must be unfit for Dad to win custody -- but sometimes, the
children's best interests may require Dad to take the children,
even if Mom is not unfit.
Lawyers work on a contingent fees basis -- except divorce lawyers
who are barred from taking a contingent fee. Your lawyer and her
fee should not stand between you and your spouse. You may
reconcile.
"Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does." -- Groucho Marx
More money changes hands in divorces than in all other legal cases combined.
Our favorite indoor sport is reading, so here are some of our favorite books: From "I Do" to "I'll Sue" by Jill Bauer. New York: Penguin Books, 1993. Good comic relief. Divorce Help Sourcebook by Margorie L. Engle. Detroit: Visible Ink, 1994. The most comprehensive sourcebook we have seen. Engle lists hundreds of organizations and publications, including a useful state-by-state guide.
If your agreement calls for a cost of living adjustment ("COLA"),
the CPI for all urban consumers increased 2.7% for the twelve
months ending November 30, 1994.
* Who Pays for College? * Court Ordered Mediation * Stepfamily Issues