Look for tougher abuse prevention laws in 1995. Massachusetts legislators will act on visitation guidelines-whether to prohibit unsupervised visitation by parents accused of child or spousal abuse. Judges now decide on a case-by-case basis. Mental health professionals believe that children usually benefit from parental access, even if supervised, but few trained super- visors are available at an affordable cost and at convenient times and places. Proposed legislation requires accused parents to arrange and pay for supervision, thereby creating another hurdle to parental access and diminishing resources available to pay child support. The legislation appears more punitive than protective-a new weapon in divorce wars serving to increase false and distorted abuse allegations. In the end, our children pay in one form or another. Sharyn T. Sooho Steven L. Fuchs Law Offices of Sharyn T. Sooho Two Newton Place, Suite 200 Newton, MA 02458-1634
Warring couples sometimes deny grandparents access to grand- children. In divorce and paternity cases, grandparents now have a right to seek visitation in their own names. Grandparents may file a Complaint (request) for Grandparent Visitation in Massachusetts and many other states. Courts grant visitation if consistent with the best interests of the children. You must present evidence, such as: * You and the children have a deep affection for one another. * The children spent holidays and vacations with you before the divorce. * You often took care of the children. * You practice certain family traditions which the children should experience. * The children's aunts, uncles, and cousins often visit you, and the children should have an opportunity to know their extended family.
In 1993 Massachusetts lawmakers gave judges discretion to order divorced parents to pay child support and college tuition until age 23 if the child is a full time undergraduate student. Married parents may terminate support when a child turns 18. Why should divorce expand parental obligations? Policy makers argue that divorce is harmful to children, so they deserve the "extra" support. But with college students living away from home, isn't "child support" actually disguised alimony? We also question the constitutionality of targeting parents whose only crime was obtaining a legal divorce. The divorce judge may order one parent to pay all expenses, or allocate the expenses between parents based on their financial resources. Stepparents have no financial obligations. When you and your spouse assign responsibility for college expenses: * Establish a college savings program for both parents and the child. * Require your child to contribute savings. * Ensure that both parents will apply for educational loans and supply colleges with financial information. * Require your child to attend an accredited school on a full time basis and remain in good academic standing. * Do not overlook application fees, test fees, travel expenses to visit colleges, and preparatory courses. If you expect both parents to pay, keep both parents involved in all aspects of the children's education. Parents should send the noncustodial parent copies of the children's report cards, test scores, and invitations to parent-teacher meetings. Noncustodial parents should help the children with homework during visits or ask to see completed assignments if the children only visit during school vacations. Engage children in an educational dialogue starting in kindergarten. Let them know both parents care about them and value their education. Family courts dislike the "last minute" parent who shows no interest in the children's academic pursuits until they are ready to enter college. This parent often refuses to compromise and demands court hearings before paying college expenses. While knowing nothing about the children's academic interests, abilities or aptitudes, the parent nonetheless expresses strong opinions. If you were the judge, would you listen to this parent?
Demographers predict that by the year 2000 most of our children will live with a single parent or stepfamily. Lawmakers have not come to terms with the "new American family," failing to define the rights and responsibilities of stepparents. On an informal basis stepparents are assuming financial and legal responsibilities. Colleges, for example, review the financial resources of stepparents before awarding financial aid. Several states, excluding Massachusetts, allow judges to grant visitation to stepparents. Lawmakers generally refrain from imposing support obligations on stepparents, although outside of Massachusetts, some states require stepparents to provide support so long as they are living with stepchildren. Judges must consider several factors, including the "needs of the children of the marriage" before granting a divorce. In an unreported case, the Massachusetts Court of Appeals refused to expand the law to stepchildren, but unofficially, some divorce judges consider the needs of stepchildren. With over one-half of all children living in single parent or stepfamily homes by the year 2000, the legislature must address the needs of the new American family.
In the early eighties, many divorcing couples chose private
mediation. They hired a neutral third party to facilitate
discussions ranging from custody and visitation to division of
assets and alimony. As mediation became more widespread, courts
began experimenting with alternative dispute resolution (ADR)
techniques since the adversarial process drove parties further
apart and discouraged future compliance with court orders.
Court-ordered mediation became popular and court personnel were
trained as mediators. In theory, parties would no longer be
able to delegate decision-making by hiding behind lawyers and
would start realizing the importance of settling their cases
without going to trial.
Although mediation has its advantages, argumentative or rigid
people are not good candidates for mediation. Skilled mediators
assess the parties at the first meeting and may refuse to handle
a case.
A man who pays support voluntarily for a child born out of wedlock may become obligated to continue paying, even if DNA testing later proves he is not the biological father.
When you want a general background on divorce, refer to James Friedman's book, The Divorce Handbook: Your Basic Guide to Divorce. Friedman uses a question and answer format covering 227 questions related to divorce for a national audience. Locally, the Divorce Center, Inc., P.O. Box 4791, Framingham, MA 01701 distributes material, at a nominal cost, on the legal and emotional aspects of divorce. The Divorce Center runs a series of weekly presentations by divorce lawyers, judges, mental health professionals, and financial planners. The $5.00 admission fee is an excellent value. "Criminal lawyers see the worst people at their best. Divorce lawyers see the best people at their worst." -- Thomas B. Concannon, Jr. Mayor, City of Newton, and former divorce lawyer
If your agreement calls for a cost of living adjustment ("COLA"),
the CPI for all urban consumers increased 2.7% for the twelve
months ending December 31, 1994.
(source: Bureau of Labor Statistics)
High earners often pay alimony instead of child support to take advantage of the tax code. Alimony is deductible; child support is not. If you receive alimony, talk to your tax advisor about paying quarterly estimated federal and state income taxes. If you are still married on December 31, you and your spouse are eligible to file a joint tax return or you may file a separate return, but you are not eligible to file as a single taxpayer.
Life acquires meaning When we face the conflict Between our desires And reality. -Deng Ming Dao 365 Tao: Daily Meditations
* Prenuptial Agreements: Changing Your Marital Vows * Do You Have a Fool for a Client When You Represent Yourself? * Is it Fair When a Judge Makes an Unequal Division of Assets?