Go to our Home Page
Law Offices of Sharyn T. Sooho
©1995 Sharyn T. Sooho
all rights reserved
The Family Law Advisor is posted monthly on the World Wide Web, giving us an opportunity to enter into a dialogue with people around the world about their divorces.
Our site has been active on the Internet since April of this year. Viewership is steadily growing. This month we have had over six thousand readers and we are rapidly approaching the one- hundred thousand mark.
We spoke on Montreal Talk Radio in early September. We also answered e-mail on divorce- related questions from Europe, Asia, Australia and at least a dozen states.
Most questions relate to post-divorce problems occurring as many as twenty-five years after the divorce. The lingering confusion and hurt make us wonder whether the pain of divorce ever ends, although a survey of recent books on divorce suggest a relatively tranquil ending. Share your views with us at our e-mail address.
For parties with children, the custodial parent claims the children as dependency exemptions unless the parent signs a release, IRS Form No. 8332, and the noncustodial parent attaches the form to his/her tax return.
If you own a home, divorcing spouses who are 55 years or older should consider selling the marital home after divorce, so both parties may take advantage of the one-time exclusion of $125,000.
Depending on where you live, write for IRS publications at Western Area Distribution Center,
Rancho Cordova, CA 95743-0001; Central Area Distribution Center, P.O. Box 8903,
Bloomington, IL 61702-8903; or Eastern Area Distribution Center, P.O. Box 85074,
Richmond, VA 23261-5074
Back to Table of Contents
Most judges do not base custody decisions solely on a child’s stated preference. As a practical matter, teenagers have more autonomy, so we all pay attention to what they want. Adults, however, make the final decision.
2) If my spouse and I share custody, does that mean no one pays child support?
No, although the amount of support may be lower.
3) At what age is a child no longer entitled to support?
Eighteen years is the usual age of emancipation, but in Massachusetts the courts may order support for a full time student up to the age of 23 years.
4) Can I stop my spouse from seeing the children if I don’t get my child support payments?
No. You should file a contempt action to enforce court ordered support.
5) Can I stop paying child support if my spouse won’t let me see the children?
No, but you may file a contempt action to enforce court ordered visitation.
6) Will the court prevent my spouse from visiting with the children in the presence of his girlfriend?
Sometimes courts restrict visits in the presence of a paramour until a divorce is final. After a suitable period of separation and divorce, most courts do not restrict visits.
7) My spouse physically abused me during the marriage. Should I be concerned about the children visiting with my spouse without a supervisor?
Some observers believe a person who abuses a spouse may also abuse the children. Generally, courts require some evidence that unsupervised visitation goes against the children’s best interests.
8) What is the difference between joint legal custody and sole legal custody?
In Massachusetts joint legal custody confers authority on both parents to make major decisions concerning the children. It does not mean that the children spend half their time with dad and half with mom. Sole legal custody usually means that one parent makes all of the big decisions, but cannot take the children from Massachusetts permanently without the other parent’s consent or permission of the court.
Questions you should ask the mediator:
How much do you charge? Mediators generally charge an hourly rate with the couple deciding how to share payment. Find out whether the mediator charges for a brief introductory meeting.
How many hours is the mediation likely to take? Obviously this is hard for the mediator to estimate, but the mediator should be able to give you a rough idea.
What is your professional background? Most mediators are either therapists or lawyers. Find out whether the mediator handles only some issues. Don’t assume that therapists can’t mediate financial issues and lawyers can’t handle custody disputes; ask what additional education or experience the mediator has had in the areas which you think his or her professional background does not encompass.
What mediation training have you had? Mediation is a profession itself, and it is important for your mediator to have had training specifically in mediation techniques.
Do you belong to a professional organization of mediators? Membership in professional groups of mediator is one indication of the mediator’s involvement in the profession. Also some professional organizations have required standards for members.
How many cases have you mediated? This is a more useful question than "how long have you been doing mediation?" Most mediators do not have a full-time mediation practice. A mediator may have been in practice for many years as a lawyer or therapist, yet have handled only a few mediation cases.
Of course your choice of mediator will be based also on the intangible "chemistry" between you and the mediator, which no particular question will elicit.
Janet Weinberger is an attorney who practices divorce mediation in Newton.
A former president of the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation, she has graduate degrees in both law and social work.
Led by mental health professionals, classes focus on the children’s reactions to divorce, effective parent-child communications, and resources for parents and children. Parents must attend separate sessions. For approved program providers, call the Office of the Chief Justice, Probate and Family Court at 617-742-9743. Classes cost $50 a person.
(source: Bureau of Labor Statistics)
Favorite question and answer on Montreal talk radio about the Family Law Advisor : do you trivialize divorce by writing openly about it? No, not unless you mean that candor and humor make divorce trivial.
"A problem well stated is a problem half solved."
-- Thomas B. Concannon, Mayor of Newton, Mass. and former divorce lawyer.
