Dear Reader:
1996 gave us more federal laws affecting families. Our founding fathers may not like the trend, but changing times call for new methods of problem solving.
With Big Brother looking over our shoulder, we may ease the difficulty in collecting child support over state lines or maintaining medical insurance coverage after divorce. Reformers also seek changes in federal pension and social security laws to provide more benefits for second wives. Bravo.
We now have federal laws prohibiting the recognition of same sex marriage. Traditionally, states recognize marriages, not the federal government. In buttressing so-called family values, Uncle Sam tramples on more than 200 years of constitutional law. What chaos.
Sharyn T. Sooho
Steven L. Fuchs
Law Offices of Sharyn T. Sooho
Two Newton Place, Suite 200
Newton, MA 02458-1634
voice:(617) 969-1400
fax:(617) 964-1694
Divorce judges are sending litigants to "Parenting Classes" taught by mental health professionals.
Graduates often have a better understanding of their children's feelings and greater empathy for one another. Women sympathize with male classmates describing the heartbreak of being a noncustodial parent. After attending co-ed classes, men comprehend the anxiety of mothers juggling work, child care, and a reduced household budget.
The classroom is neutral and instructional, not judgmental and threatening.
Ideally, graduates of parenting classes can:
Tip:
- communicate more effectively with one another.
- talk to their children about divorce in a caring, honest manner.
- minimize the impact of divorce on the children.
- minimize custody and visitation problems before and after divorce.
- keep an open mind about the children's changing needs over the years.
- tell the difference between their own needs and the children's.
Call your local divorce court for information on parenting classes in your area. If classes are not offered, check out books and videotapes at your local public library or bookstore.
A recent survey of children's books on divorce at the New England Mobile Book Fair in Newton, Massachusetts came up with thirty book titles ranging from how to tell children about divorce to step parenting issues.
The editors of the "Family Law Advisor" just completed "How to File for Divorce in Massachusetts," published by Sphinx Publishing at $19.95.
The editors provide easy-to-read descriptions of each stage of divorce. Instructions and blank forms are also included, along with sample forms from a made-up case. Readers can file all of the necessary papers without lawyers or find out how to choose the right lawyer.
The book also includes a list of legal services available at a reduced fee or no fee basis for those readers who want or need advice of counsel.
Call Sphinx Publishing at 800-226-5291 and mention the "Family Law Advisor" for a ten percent discount when ordering or purchase at local bookstores.
The latest controversy among Massachusetts divorce lawyers is "truth telling" by clients and lawyers.
Proposed rules require lawyers to sign clients' financial statements certifying the lawyer knows of no false statements made by the client. All divorcing parties are required to provide information to one another and the courts at the beginning of a case.
Present rules only require clients to sign their own financial statements under penalties of perjury and no one is required to give information to the other party automatically.
On the side of the proposed rules, lawyers argue that Massachusetts courts joins other states in ratifying the need for full disclosure, no surprises, and truthfulness in divorce. Opponents argue that the legal fees will increase unnecessarily and that people without lawyers will be unfairly burdened by complex paperwork.
Existing Rule
Proposed Rule
financial statements
signed by client
under penalties of
perjuryfinancial statements
signed by client
and lawyer under
penalties of perjurypretrial discovery
must be requested
by opposing
partyboth parties required
at the beginning of a
case to exchange
information and documentsThe state bar will present its recommendation to a bench-bar conference in early April 1997.
At the end of 1996, fathers were getting bad press again. NBC's "Dateline" followed twelve Newark, New Jersey fathers from the birth of their children in January 1996 through the entire year, and report that only one of the twelve was involved with his child by year's end. Most were not even present at birth, and others rapidly slipped from view within a few weeks of birth. The program also notes that eight of the twelve fathers grew up fatherless.
The "New York Times" reports that Michigan and Wisconsin may penalize "fathers" by taking away drivers licenses and other state issued licenses, if they are more than 90 days behind in child support. Is gender bias causing the "Times" to use the term "fathers" instead of "noncustodial parents" or do certain lawmakers say what they mean and mean what they say?
Our survey shows that courts will order noncustodial mothers to pay little or no child support compared to their male counterparts.
If your agreement calls for a cost of living adjustment ("COLA"), the CPI for all urban consumers increased 3.7 % for the twelve months ending November 30, 1996.
(source: Bureau of Labor Statistics)
The American Psychiatric Association offers a book at $22.95 entitled "How to Help Your Child Overcome Your Divorce." Order online at http://www.appi.org. The authors include information on support groups and answers to frequently asked questions.
The American Bar Association has books at $12.95 each for parents and children. Check out the "Handbook for the Newly Divorced" with material on understanding your divorce papers to planning your next marriage; and "My Parents Are Getting Divorced" whic h includes advice from other kids and what judges do. Call 1-800-285-2221 or e-mail: abavcctr@attmail.com
Even billionaires have not got enough to share with spouses when they divorce. Read the "Wall Street Journal" article of August 7, 1996 on Craig McCaw who sold McCaw Cellular Communications Inc. to AT&T in 1994 for $11.5 billion. He contends that mo st of his enormous wealth comes from stocks given to him by his parents before his 22 year marriage to Wendy McCaw. He argues that the premarital assets should not be divided upon divorce. Observers disagree. Wendy also disagrees.
We recently screened an Alan Thicke video on kids and divorce. The 30 minute video had nothing new to say, but seemed to make its points in a gentle, easy to follow format. It made a favorable impression on one eight year old veteran of divorce. Th e video is widely available in public libraries and video stores.
"Divorces should be settled by the parties dueling at dawn with their lawyers as seconds. It's cheaper and less sordid than trial." Expert witness after testifying.
"You can't simply hand over your problem to a lawyer and sit back waiting for results - unless you don't care about the results or the cost." Kay Ostberg, "Using a Lawyer and What to Do if Things Go Wrong: a Step-by-Step Guide," Random House, New York, 1990.